Diary of Susanna Kaysen

Dear Diary,

My ex boyfriend, wanted me to runaway with him today. He didn't want to go to Vietnam. He said we would escape to Canada. I refused. I've started to get closer to my new....friends. Specifically Lisa. I think I just relied on her when I refused to go with my ex. I think I might meet a doctor sooner or later. I wanna run away from here. But I also don't want to deal with him yet. It's been 2 years, since I've been taken to the mental institution. Lisa's calling me, I think I'm meeting the doctor right now.

-Susanna Kaysen

Last Resort

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a f**k if I cut my arm bleeding

This is my last resort

Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a f**k if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide

'cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

'cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me in fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying
I'm crying

I can't go on living this way

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a f**k if I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I'm contemplating suicide

'cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying

I can't go on living this way
Can't go on
Living this way
Nothing's alright



There's a point in the story where the main character says that she attempted suicide. I think this song was probably going through her head, before she tried causing suicide.

I'm so sick, infected with where i live, let me live....

"I'm so sick, infected with where i live, let me live...."

"I'm So Sick" by Flyleaf, represents what i think and feel sometimes.

I'm sick of living where i am now. I love my house and mom, but sometimes my mom gets me frustrated! She never tries to understrand me!! She wants to turn me into something I'm not. It's not only my mom, not letting me "live" (be who i am or deal with out this stress), it's also a few of family members & peers (friends included). They don't really, know me. They think they do, but i have to change my attitude for the sake of them. When it comes with a few of my family members, I want them to feel welcomed. You could say I'm a push-over. But, they have started to take advantage of my nice side. I didn't mind, but they started to get worse. Up until now, they still do. But they have seen me pissed at them. They know that they shouldn't take advantage of me, but sometimes they still do. When I make new friends or meet new people, I will always show respect. I would want to get to know them better. But, along the way, something happens and they fight amongst themselves. And I'm ALWAYS in-between their stupid quarrels. When they fight amongst themsleves, it pisses me off!I can't ignore it anymore. I SICK OF THEM FIGHTING, I'M SICK OF BEING PUSHED AROUND, AND I'M SICK OF MY MOM TRYING TO CONTROL ME!!

- Valeria :]

( P.S i feel better writing this down :] )

reading :P

Hello world! Ma' names Valeria :] I attend LHS, and lovin' it! If you notice the title is reading. That's cause i'm gonna talk about it!
I know, how exhilarating! Well, shall we get started?

I'm not much of a reader, but this year i've started to enjoy it. The books that i've read are:

1. "A Night To Remember" by Walter Lord

2. " Almost Dead" by ______

3. " Girl Interrupted" by Susana Kaysen

4. "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson

These books are one of the coolest i've read! Well the only ones, this year, but there still awesome! :D

Now, 2 of these are fictional, and 2 are not.

Can you guess who's who? Come now don't be shy, there are no wrong answers. Hm? What's that you say?......

Ooohh, so close, but WRONG! The 2 fictional books are "Speak" & "Almost Dead". The 2 non-fictional are " A Night To Remember" & "Girl Interrupted"

Reading books like these are addicting to me. Especially books like "Speak" & "Almost Dead". So exciting, it's like a soap opera, but in words :]

They all have something unique, and that's what i like in a book. :]